I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
