Kareoke will never be a sober sport
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
