you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
