Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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