i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
