haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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