he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
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