its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
