Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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