There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
