Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
