Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
me + whiskey = a bad person
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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