Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize