We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
