"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
it's like heaven, but drunker
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
