i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
