I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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