It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
