that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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