I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
