Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
