Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
