he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
