I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
