Soap is not a condiment
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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