OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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