No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
