I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
