Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
