Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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