I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
