apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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