He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
