last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
