I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
