That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
