She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
