Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
