ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
