don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
