Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
