where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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