You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
