You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
