it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
