Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
