you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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