Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Do vagina's smell?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
