I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
