Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's never too late to be topless.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
