I wannas sexs uuuuu
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
