He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
