My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
