Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
