I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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