that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
