final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
