Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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