i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
